In Response to the Class Blog

Most reality shows that I have seen depict women in the most negative possible. They always show them as overly sexual and incapable of doing anything for themselves. In REAL life most women are very educated and successful. In my blog, I had posted about a show called Jersey Couture. This may be the only show that I have seen that depicts women in a good light is the show Jersey Couture. The two daughters on there always talk about their education and what they have studied, and show them passionate about working for the family business, a dress shop. As well as stll having a passion for what they went to school for, but to them family comes first. The one daughter is married and has a daughter; and sometimes outside of the store, she can be seen taking care of her daughter and the household, and the husband contributing. Also telling costumers, sometimes it is not about how much skin one can show. Being 'sexy' can also mean covering up. I also think it has a lot to do with what channel the reality show is aired. And this one is the Oxygen channel, not one like MTV or VH1. And compared to the Housewives and another show called Jerseylicious, I would say that Jersey Couture is more positive about women.

I think TV creates its own reality, and what it wants its viewers to see and how TV wants them to act. And some people honestly believe the "realness" of television and will live their lives by it. TV is their reality, and TV makes it seem just fine for others to act how they do.

Week 6

Recently, I had seen an episode of this show Cut Off on VH1. It is about a group of young women who depend on their parents or family members for money. And us that money to shop, and cater to their needs. The way they portrayed the women were spoiled, bratty, and bitter. Each of them were like that; some more than others. All they were was materialistic, and all they cared about was what they were buying next. Most reality shows, or almost any show for that matter, depicts women in a way in which not many women are like that. But most of these shows give that impression, giving some that this idea of women is right. The only reality show, that I have seen, since I do not watch many is a show Jersey Couture. It is about a family boutique. The women who in the store, seem passionate about what they do from what I have seen. The oldest daughter is married with a daughter, and is family oriented and the youngest if all about working the family business but also wants to have her own business. Each of them went to school for something different, but when their family business was beginning to go down, they went to work with their mom to help out. That is the way I see the show. And compared to the rest of these shows that have women on them, I would think this is one of the better ones.

Response to Jackie's Post: Week 5 Moment.

I actually never thought about that either, until now. Being in any class, students just follow the rules of what is being learned. Accepting something for exactly what it is, never questioning why or whether or not something should be changed. Like you, I have taken Spanish classes, because I want to learn the language to communicate with others. And I never realized the different verbs were formed for different genders, I just went by the rules. Thinking nothing more of it. And now the question is why, would one male dominate in a group, even if there are more females in a group? I could understand then, but why now is it still the same way? Because it is accepted, most would not see the bigger issue in it.

Moment Four.

In reading chapter four from our text about the men's movements and trying to change society's view of them; particularly about discrimination they face because of their gender. It made me think of this movie I had recently watched. A movie called Abducted: A Father's Love. The father is trying to protect his daughter from his ex wife's new abusive partner. All throughout, most are thinking the father is the problem, and the mother has the right to her own daughter, no matter what. She is the mother, and that counts for everything. But the father somehow gets involved an underground safe haven, that if I remember correctly, is to help females run from abusive or volitle relationships. When he tried to become involved by calling the number he had been given, they automatically assume he is looking for his wife. When in actuality, he is the victim. It took a lot of convincing for them to believe him.

Some people, to this day, have a hard to believing that men can be victims in a relationship because they are supposed to be powerful and aggressive. Yet, there are some men who are just the opposite, as is this man in the movie. Some men are just not violent, or aggressive and would never result to that. Why is that people have a difficult time understanding that women can be the aggressor, or the dominating one in a relationship?

Response to Yesenia's Blog: Week 4.

I have never even heard of this advertisement or league before. And I have to say I was taken aback reading this. Now I am not naïve when it comes to how most women are viewed, and only viewed as something sexual. So, a half naked woman does not seem to be an issue with most when it comes to making a profit. When it comes to money morals and ethics are out the window. People are so greedy when it comes to making money and will do anything and everything to achieve it, no matter what is sacrificed. Sex sells. There was no problem with advertising this for all to see, or even having such a league. I do not understand why they could not have them fully dressed in athletic attire, as would the women of the soccer and softball league do and so on. So many women are trying to not be seen as sexual objects in their everyday lives, the workplace, the media, and just so many other aspects. And yet, there are still those people who continue to display women as such, and most of the time it is women themselves. Some that do it have no problem in doing so, and then there are those who enjoy sexualizing themselves. But what do they do it for? Just as you say the money, but yet no one wants to admit that. And yes, I would rather them just admit that they are all in it for the money, and the sport at hand is not even the concern.

Moment Three.

Just recently I began watching ‘reality’ television shows. I had watched the show Jerseylicious, which seems to be more about the lives of the people who work as the hairstylists, than about the actual salon. I had seen a few of the episodes awhile back, but a few days ago they aired a couple of episodes again. Because of this class, I think, it made me pay attention to what the employees were actually saying. In the beginning episodes, three of the hairstylists when out to lunch; two females and a male. The one, Gigi has had a boyfriend for about two years, and just knows he is the one. She has a dream of becoming this great hairstylist and getting married to him. The male, Anthony, who is straight, has been married for four years and has a son. The other, Alexa, says she has trouble in the relationship department.

I thought to myself, well why would she have a problem, she is successful, seems to have a good head on her shoulders, and is a beautiful lady. But a comment she made explained it all. She had mocked the other, Gigi for having a dream of becoming some great hairstylists and getting married. She did not understand how that could be someone’s dream. And how someone can stay married to one person for the rest of one’s life. Alexa had said that people marry for all the wrong reasons, and she brought up the divorce rates in New Jersey. She was so negative. Anthony said something abouthow she has to find the right person. And she counteracted with something along the lines of a person’s skin beginning to sag and letting themselves go, and ultimately that marriage failing because of that. Finding the right person has nothing to do with physical appearance, which I believe was his point. Now, of course marriage is not for everyone, but her comments and pessimism were unnecessary.

I wonder why her relationships do not last or why she has not had one for awhile. Is it because her relationships have failed, and she is jealous of the others who are in long lasting relationships, being the only single one at the table? Is she too headstrong and opinionated, and believes that no one is good enough?

Response to Sara's Blog: Week 3 Eureka Moment

We used to shop at Toys ‘R’ Us every Christmas for my little cousins and nieces, and my stepfather would always go to the gender specified sections. My mom and I would quickly speak up, and say why did we have to buy certain toys that only catered to a certain gender. My mom and I did like you and yours, found something in the educational section, but even that was somewhat difficult. Even when it came to sports, the girls athletic gear would be pink, even the balls would be pink. I did not understand what color coding had to do with the actual sport. Most children would be so into a sport that the color of a ball is the furthest thing from their mind. When I used to ride bicycles with my friends, I knew we were not at all concerned with the colors. Sometimes we would switch bikes or just grab whichever or whosever bike was the closest. I would even ride a bike that was blue, which society would most likely look down upon. A young girl should not have a blue bike. But what if that is her favorite color, is society going to tell her to choose another color? Probably because blue is for boys. This also makes me think back to when I was younger, and shopping in Toys ‘R’ Us, I never went straight towards the girls’ section. I just went for the first toy in sight, and from that point on, just touching every single toy I could possibly get my tiny fingers on. I always wondered as I became older why there was such a difference in sections; young children are going to want to play with whatever they want, depending on where they live and how they are raised.

Response to Michele's Blog: Week #3

I used to be a dancer, and had one male in my ballet class. Never did it cross my mind that he might be gay. The only thing that I concluded was that he had a passion for it, and his parents supported him in following his dream. I was glad to have a male dancer in the class, to prove that dancing can be for anyone. The way a dancer moves is graceful and what society sees as “feminine” would make someone believe a male dancer to be gay, when some of the time that is rarely true. The same could be said for those males who pursue a dream on Broadway, one assumes that he has to be gay; men should be out ‘trying to save the world’ or playing in a professional sports league. I feel it is unfair in the respect that a female can do what men do, and she is not looked at as being a lesbian. I think it is hard to judge someone by their mannerisms and voice, because assumptions usually turn out to be completely wrong. Society creates so many double standards. However, when I was younger, children I knew and grew up with played with “girls” toys and “boys” toys, and not once, that I knew of, did their parents say that girls and boys should play with certain toys or only play certain games. So yes, I agree that it has to be the culture that one in raised in, because I rarely come across and gender stereotyping, unless I’m just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe where I live is in its own world, blocking itself off from the rules of society.

Moment Two.

This happened at one of our usual gatherings for the Memorial Day weekend. A few of us decided to watch a movie; myself and three of my cousins. The movie was Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Even though this movie is a comedy, something happened that I did not expect. In one scene, the main character ends up crying because he couldn’t accomplish something or other. My one cousin, who is ten, laughed and said, “Men don’t cry. He is a grown man.” At first I just stared blankly, I did not think he would have ever said something like that. My other cousin, that just turned twenty, told him, “Men do cry, all men cry or should cry. I cry.” Something else I did not expect, but something I am glad that was said. My ten year old cousin looks up to the older male cousins in my family, watching and learning from them and for him to hear that, it may or may not have changed his opinion on that one thing, but at least it could be in the back of his mind. I do not really expect gender stereotypes to diminish completely, but for a ten year old to think that keeping emotions in is something he has to do, kind of makes me feel a little on edge. It makes me wonder what else he thinks he can or cannot, and should do because he is a male. In a way, I am beginning to think that he is going to mature into one who is set on gender roles and sticking to gender expectations, since he already believes certain stereotypes now. Then again, he is still young, and being younger some are still learning the ways of the world. I guess with different generations, children are raised differently, because I know most of my cousins who are my age do not have those ‘gender stereotypes’ embedded in their minds. I like to think I don’t.

Response to Lindsey's Blog: Moment 1

Congratulations! I believe that men and women should equally share the planning process for a wedding, marriage is about becoming one. So, I completely agree with you when you say that a marriage is a partnership. This is ultimately one of the bigger challenges that future spouses can do together. Most want to break the stereotype of gender roles. Even though wedding programs on television may not always be the best example; some do show the couple working together on everything; from the cake, the location, the table settings, the center pieces, the colors, etc. And there is absolutely nothing with wanting to do so. I would not go as far as to say a man should be there helping his future bride seek out her perfect dress (as you already stated), but I know of some people who want each other to be involved with every single detail. A wedding is not about the people on the outside, they are only there to share the moment. The days prior, the day of, and the days after are about the future husband and wife, and want the two want, even if planning everything together does “defy” a barrier of gender roles that society deems acceptable. There are always going to be those few people who do not agree with planning everything together, some may even say it could hurt the relationship because of disagreements that may occur, but prove them wrong. There is no right or wrong way to plan a wedding.
May 27, 2010 4:36 PM

Response to Yesenia's Blog: Week 2

I can relate to this when you write of women's most important role being to have children and get married, needing a man to feel complete. Some of my family members are always concerned with the fact that I am still single, and one of the first questions they ask me is, "Do you have a boyfriend?" or "When are you going to bring around that special someone?" What ever happened to the simple, "How are you?" They make me feel like I am breaking some sort of rule, by not having a man in my life. Especially when other members of my family have someone and I seem to be the only one that has yet to find anyone. But it is not like I am looking exactly, it will happen when it is time. Some day I would love to have all of that, but I still have a lot to do for me. There is definitely more to a woman than just fulfilling household duties and bearing children. Women are worth much more in society than the previous. I want to take full advantage of everything that women in the past have struggled to do and paving a path in helping future women achieve what they want.
May 28, 2010 11:34 AM

Moment One.

As soon as I began reading chapter five and six, both mentioned American society as being obsessed with appearance and this being very obvious. To most appearance is everything; wanting that perfect look. When in reality there is no one perfect look, everyone is different, and that is something my one friend has yet to fully understand. My friend and I went shopping in this last week. We wanted to shop for dresses for a concert that was coming up, but only deciding to wear a dress if each of us found one. She said that I had more of an idea what fashion was, telling me to tell her what looked good on her, what colors matched; to be an outsider looking at her. I was on the fence about this because everyone has their own style, and something that I think would look good, may not be for her. Then the shopping trip, I feel, went downhill. All throughout trying on clothes she complained about her stomach being too fat, and needing the dress to hide it better, and the dress cannot show too much leg because they were not toned enough, just on and on. She started talking about how she becomes frustrated with shopping because certain clothing items do not fit her, and I tried reassuring her that there is something for everyone and that it takes time when it comes to looking for an outfit. But she kept up with the constant negativity about the situation, saying how I am able to find clothing much easier than her because my frame is smaller and clothes are made to fit my body size more. That ultimately made me feel terrible and once I again I tried to explain to her that, I had trouble finding different clothes because at times they do not fit correctly or the style is not for me, yet she continued to go on and say that she would never find anything. I could not get through to her in any way. I just wanted her to understand that there are many body types and that we are two different people, and we would find a dress before the concert. She was able to find a perfectly fitting dress and her attitude completely changed, but then the conversation switched from the perfect dress to how I would look better when it came to beach wear. But I am really not as confident as she thinks I am . . .

There Is A First Time For Everything

Right from the beginning I was excited for this class, I had yet to take a gender class; and I am quickly approaching my last few semesters of college. Being that I recently declared my major for Public Relations, I knew this class would be the right choice. Public Relations deals with a variety of different people from all over; with different beliefs and values. Entering this class, I thought I had a good idea of what 'Gender and Communication' would be about. But within reading the first few pages, some of my ideas were confirmed about the gender roles and what society expects from each, and what is the 'norm.' I have to say, my parents sometimes fall into what is to be expected from a male and a female in a household, but my mom will be the first to recognize it, and turn the tables on my step-father. It did not cross my mind that so many people were interested in the subject of gender, and how people are finally begining to realize that there is more than one gender, and because one is female or a male, they have to act accordingly. People may be beginning to realize this, but that does not mean they accept it. Well, some people. The only way for some people to accept other genders and behaviors that break away from the norm, is for society to accept it. Society sets the standards for beliefs, and people are influenced by that. I would have to say, probably from how was I raised and where I live, all different types of people are accepted. If a female displays masculine behaviors it is not seen as out of the ordinary, and vice versa. I could only hope that the rest of 'society' is quick to accept that not everyone is the same, and that difference makes the world a little less boring.